Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Damn Pons Asinorum

A John Doe Preamble
What a bridge of asses C.S. Lewis has created (or rather unearthed). Granted, a quick once over of any chapter in the Problem of Pain is clearly a foolish waste of time. However--and to my disdain--after:
  • Reading the chapter "Human Wickedness" thrice.
  • Placing the class study-guide within effortless arms reach.
  • Google searching every Lewis-ism my pathetic vocabulary lacks.
  • Jotting down extensive notes and outlines into simple people vernacular.
this chapter continues to twist my brain fibers into a well woven braid of clusterfucktivity. Thankfully according to Lewis my brain braid is proof of my progression toward enlightenment, and constant doubt and frustration over this damn Pons Asinorum is the only way I can begin to escape the fools paradise where so many have settled into stagnant, lukewarm existence.

A Brief Recapitulation
Unfortunately the limited conditions encasing this blog require a chain of assumed notions, and before delving into questions and musings concerning human wickedness these notions must be established and understood (at least to some degree).

Assumption number 1: Humanity is dependent on God.
Assumption number 2: God requires perfection.
Assumption number 3: Humanity is not perfect.

A deductible conclusion: Humanity needs to change. Somehow...
A reasonable question: But why?

Good, we're all caught up. Now that the foundation is set, the dissection can begin.

A Mild Dissection
Alright...uh...

This is more difficult than I anticipated.

I guess I can reiterate the question: Why does humanity need to change?

Lewis answers this with what he believes to be an obvious, Christian-like response. "[Because] we have used our free will to become very bad." However, humanity (being rather stupid) has somehow contrived an ideology of denial. In other words: morality has become relative. In other-other words: Bad doesn't exist.

A reasonable question: But why doesn't humanity acknowledge their innate "badness"?

Lewis dishes out two primary reasons.

(Notice: As a reminder for personal application, I will now switch to a first person perspective.)

Reason number 1: I have developed a warped understanding of kindness.

I have constructed polarized views on kindness and cruelty. In other words, I have convinced myself that kindness is only really good and cruelty is only really bad. With this mindset, I am quick to categorize myself. Of course, I sleep easier knowing that I am kind. Therefore, I must be kind, right? According to Lewis, this generalization isn't quite kosher and my grounds of reasoning are faulty. Ignorantly, I console myself in the fallacy that benevolence is easy. I ostracize cruelty from myself and construct a universe of pure kindness. I think to myself, "I haven't hurt anybody, so I must be kind!" I immediately feel better about myself. At this point, Lewis would point out that my thought process is warped. Instead I must think, "I haven't hurt anybody, but I also haven't helped anybody." I have not sacrificed anything. I've only removed myself from the problem. Therefore, I am not kind.

A deductible conclusion: I must establish a new understanding of kindness.

Reason number 2: I have developed a warped understanding of morality.

I have linked the negative feeling of shame with the act of doing something immoral. In other words, I have convinced myself that the demise of shame will bring about the extinction of morality. With this mindset, I gradually reduce my innate moral discernment. I fudge the lines between what is right and what is wrong. Of course, I sleep easier knowing that I am doing more good than bad. Therefore, I must be good, right? Lewis again reiterates that this generalization is faulty. Ignorantly, I remove my inhibitions and comfortably share my shame with others. Soon I console myself with the realization that my friends also feel a similar shame. I eliminate my individual shame and construct a universe of corporate guilt. I think to myself, "If everyone is shameful, no one is shameful!" I immediately feel at ease. Lewis, again the voice of reason, would remind me that I've twisted reality. Instead I must think, "Everyone is shameful, then everyone is innately bad." I have not become more good. I've only ignored immorality through my comfort in numbers. Therefore, I am immoral. Therefore, I am not good.

A deductible conclusion: I must establish a new understanding of morality.

Granted, admitting my wickedness as a part of fallen humanity doesn't give me the necessary change I expressed above (which leads to my perfection, which God requires, on whom I am dependent). However, this new understanding readjusts my focus. I comprehend the bad. My next step is to comprehend the good (This is apparently the gospel--I'm not sure If I'm convinced just yet).

An Expired Mind
I'm going to be honest, this Pons Asinorum is a bitch. Four hours of writing later and my brain is once again braided (perhaps a little too tightly). All this thinking, and yet I've merely rephrased the words of C.S. Lewis. These baby steps don't show me much enlightenment and I'm still not convinced of my innate badness. At this point, Agnosticism seemed pretty alluring. Then again, it always has.

abs.

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