Trying to Understand

I've read the Divine Goodness chapter several times and I'm still going futz. The following is just my attempt to reword Lewis and in turn hopefully "dumb" everything down for myself.

First a question:

Who is God?

Humanity has many ideas when answering this question. Many of them mistaken and fucked up. I must step outside of myself and my innate humanity to understand that God is the ultimate essence of goodness--perfection. The answer: The originator of Good.

Goodness. Happiness. Lovingness. Although these words have slightly different derivatives, I should think it would be acceptable to categorize them as ultimately meaning Godlike, yes? God is love. God is good. God is happy. God is the epitome and essence of all three. God is also the creator of man--me.

What is my purpose?

God's calling for my life is to become like Him. I am bidden to 'put on Christ' and reflect his truth, his reality. I am made in God's image. The answer: Be God.

Through these questions and answers I can understand that:

God is the ultimate goodness.
God created me in goodness.
I am a reflection his goodness.
I am created to be good.
I am only good if I am God.

...but I'm not God. I'm merely a reflection. So...

Is my perception of goodness and truth different from God's?

Probably. I mean there's no way to really know unless I'm God, and I think we've decided I'm not. However, Christ calls men to repent--wouldn't this be pointless if God's standard of goodness wasn't similar to our own? Following in the ideas of Plato, we can compare our perception to that of a shadow and God's to the actual object from which the shadow is cast. Our goodness imitates God's.

As the creation, I will ALWAYS be the reflection of the creator. My happiness and goodness is merely a reflection of God. In the same way I can not initiate love, but only recreate it. However, because my love is an imitation, my human perceptions of love need to be tweaked slightly.

Perhaps a metaphor might help.?

A man with an empty stomach is hungry. He sees another man's food and desires to be full and satisfied by the food. In the same way, I am empty. I see the goodness in other people and desire to be full and satisfied by it. Love is the result of this desire.

God, on the other hand, doesn't need to be full. He already is full. God doesn't see the goodness in others. God created the goodness in others..

God doesn't want to love. God doesn't need to love. God is love. Therefore His love is a Pure gift.

God has no needs.
I have all needs...according the reality of God (which is truth).

Can I refuse God's love?

Within my humanity I can refuse God's love. But in the same way a man can't put out the sun by scribbling the word "darkness" on his walls, I can't diminish God's glory by refusing to acknowledge him. So...God will remain God even if I don't believe in him (That's promising).

I guess I'm left with three choices then.

1) Become God (this is currently impossible.)

2) Be like God (this means to reflect his truth)

3) Disregard and be separated from God (but ultimately this is considered misery.)

My. Head. Hurts.