Cake or Death

As we talked about the reasons for human pain or suffering, I must admit that I had a really hard time focusing on CS Lewis – my mind kept straying to a sketch by British comedian Eddy Izzard.

He’d somehow managed to get on the subject of religion and talks about how the Spanish Inquisition would never have worked with the Church of England, because it would essentially boil down to a question of tea and cake with the vicar or, well, death.

"Cake or death?"

"Eh, cake please."

"Very well! Give him cake!"

"Oh, thanks very much. It's very nice."

"You! Cake or death?"

“Uh, cake for me, too, please."

"Very well! Give him cake, too! We're gonna run out of cake at this rate. You! Cake or death?"

"Uh, death, please. No, cake! Cake! Cake, sorry. Sorry..."

"You said death first, uh-uh, death first!"

"Well, I meant cake!"

"Oh, all right. You're lucky I'm Church of England!"

And so on. If pain is God’s megaphone, then a question of “Cake or death” is not likely to get anyone’s attention – the answer is easy and unlikely to cause anyone a sleepless night. For it to have an impact on our life, it has to intrude on our daily life, through all the stuff that we fill our days with and stop us in our tracks. The act of choosing cake over death won’t really impact our lives much beyond chewing on bits of frosted funfetti.

I realize that this is pretty ridiculous – Cake or Death and the Problem of Pain. Just the question Cake or Death is ridiculous, never mind the juxtaposition. But if it is a question that really matters to me, I want to spend time on my answer, to really consider the options, fully weigh the pros and cons, make a few lists, and all that jazz. You cannot justify all the pain and problems of this world so simply, but if the point of pain really is a wakeup call, it has to be a bit louder than cake or death.