Self-Surrender

After looking back on Chapter 6 - Human Pain, I really started having a hard time understanding the idea of self-surrender. Lewis says to fully surrender ourselves to God, we must experience pain. Sometimes even more pain, because as humans, we are selfish and cannot fully give up ourselves. However, what does it mean to fully surrender? Are we mindless creatures, that are being pushed around by a spirit guiding us to where we go next? Or does this mean that based on what we know about ourselves, do we follow our own interests and "gifts that God has given us"? Are we listening to everything God is saying to us or do we have an "educated guess" of what he wants us to do? Lewis talks about how God is willing us, to do things because He knows who we are and what is best for us. However does this look the same for everyone? Just because one good thing might be best for me, might not be better for my roommate. This can be referred back to the third chapter - Divine Goodness. We don't have a good grasp on what is good, maybe moral, but that could be different for everyone. Self-surrender seems very selfish to me. I see it as giving myself up to better myself. Are we not called to love one another more than ourselves? I hate looking at it as bettering myself. I think as Christians we are not to deal with our own pain, but to deal with others. If we want to fully surrender ourselves to God, we must surrender ourselves to each other, to help one another. This can be a tough situation, because we may help others, but who is going to help us? Is this selfish to think? I hope that when we help others, it becomes evident that they need to help us back. Somewhere it is said that we are not meant to be alone in this world. That is why Adam received Eve from God. We are to help one another and to tell them to help one another. Doing this will help surrender ourselves to God and hopefully our selfish pride and arrogance will not realize it, because then we totally ruin the idea of humility.