Heartbreak

I've been recently rereading The Four Loves again focusing on the section of charity. Lewis makes a statement that caused me to simply stop, reread it and chew on it for awhile.

We shall draw nearer to God, not by trying to avoid the sufferings inherent in all loves, but by accepting them and offering them to Him; throwing away all defensive armour. If our hearts need to be broken, and if He chooses this as the way in which they should break, so be it.


(my computer won't get rid of italics so please excuse the italics of the next portion. It is not from the book)

This idea that God might be causing our hearts to break for a reason has always been a struggle of mine. Why would God want us to suffer? Why would God want us to cry? Why would He cause something that appeared to be perfect to simply fall apart? It happens in friendships, relationships, marriages, deaths. Why?

Through the past year or so, I have continued to process this concept and continuously prayed about it. This happens so God can draw us back to Him. To fully rely on Him and His strength to help us through. A lot of stuff has been happening in my life lately that is hard to handle, to deal with, that has left me lost, confused and heartbroken. But through this, I have become a stronger person. I have drawn closer to Christ.

So instead of trying to protect myself from being hurt again. I need to take those risks as C.S. Lewis was describing. I need to put down my defensive armour and simply give my all to Christ and follow His will. If I need to be broken to learn and draw closer to Him, then I simply need to put my faith in Him.