As I've been reading through "The Screwtape Letters", a linking idea that I've noticed in a lot of the battles fought between the demons and the Enemy(God) is how fine a line some of these issues have. What I mean is that the moment where actions or thoughts by humans go from pleasing God to pleasing the demons is often very difficult for humans to even see. An example from the book is the idea that natural pleasures are in themselves perfectly good, but become evil when twisted by sin. Another is when Lewis, through Screwtape, is describing how charity, giving-up of ourselves, etc. is awesome by itself, but when we acknowledge it and actually think about our charity, it becomes prideful. This issue that I'm wrestling with was mentioned a lot in class by Brittany [I think I got the name right :)] when she was talking about Christianity a lot of the time being such a grey area, rather than black and white.
I struggle with this issue when it comes to explaining Christianity and my faith to others. I often question if what I'm saying is too simplified and will do more harm than good to the person I'm talking to. I do think a lot of this "grayness" issue has to do with, in my opinion, a paradoxical thing that I, and most of us, have probably noticed in our lives. The more we grow in our understanding of the Bible and in our faith intellectually, the more complex it becomes and therefore difficult to understand and explain. I know that this wrestling with the gray issues has increased tremendously since I came to college; learning through classes, friends, etc. and because of this, being challenged and seeing that many things aren't nearly as simple and clear as I thought they were.
I do wonder if some of my confusion is brought upon by myself. Maybe I'm focusing on the wrong thing or over emphasizing, such as Lewis's example of two believers arguing about the difference between two different communion doctrines (can't find it in the book right now). And I do know that the Christian journey is just that, a journey; some of the confusion I feel now will be more clear later on in life. But at the same time, we know that some of these things we struggle with are great to think about, but so far above our human minds that we won't know for certain in this life. Oh, and I guess praying about this struggle with the gray areas is a pretty good idea.
This reminds me when Screwtape rebukes Wormwood for letting him experience real pleasures. I remember reading this as a middle schooler and thinkging "great! pleasures are from God, therefore I should play guitar and not do my homework."
ReplyDeleteNow I can still see myself making justifications that I'm not quite sure are right. After I became leagal to drink it was initially hard for me to try and figure out what was too much. It was never an issue of drunkenness, but an issue of over indulgence. I remember thinking "there are people who get three $4 Starbucks coffees everyday, what's wrong with a beer a day?" I don't think there is anything wrong with a beer a day, but I forsee this grey area could either lead to drunkeness or unecessary restrictions that aren't biblical. like Paul says in Colossians 2:16: So don't let anyone pass judgement on you in connection with eating and drinking, or in regard to a Jewish festival or Rosh Hodesh or Shabbat. These are a shadow of things that are coming, but the body is of the Messiah. Don't let anyone deny you the prize by inisting that you engage in self-mortification or angel-worship. Such people are always going on about some vision they have had, and they vainly puff themselves up by their wordly outlook They fail to hold to the Head, from whom the whole Body, receiving supply and being held together by its joints and ligaments,grows as God makes it grow. If, along with the Messiah, you died to the elemental spirits of the world, then why, as if you still belonged to the world, are you letting yourselves be bothered by its rules? --Don't touch this! Don't eat that! Don't handle the other! Such prohibitions are concered with things meant to perish by being used not by being avoided! and they are based on man made rules and teachings. They do indeed have the outward appearance of wisdom, with their self-imposed relgious observances, false humility and asceticism; but they have no value at all in restraining people from indulging their old nature."
As someone who struggles with guilt in an unhealthy way, I am continuously suspicious of my emotions. I therefore go to the bible to try and find out what I should be guilty about. I read this passage and I feel vindicated. As long as I'm not drunk, or being a stumbling block, I can drink what I want, when I want right? It's like Benny Franklin said: "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
Yeah, maybe but this grayness is freaking me out.